this is the ultimate torture…..

Can’t even post on Coolrunning as I’m more than sure it’s going to sound demented! ….. So I’m in Ottawa doing my thing … can’t focus, can’t have conversation…. certainly can’t type, I’ve corrected abot 6 typo’s in 2 line….. the brains gone to mush…. totally!

If somebody said… OK the race starts right now! I’d take that option…. ’cause honestly I’m loosing it….. and I’ve still got three days to go FFS.

I’m trying to cast my tiny mind back to the 1st marathon or the 1st 5o miler …. or the first anything for that matter…. but we’re coming up blanks! I’m screwed…. can’t find a place/space that bears any relevance.

I’ve gone through the taper withdrawal before, but not to this degree….. Oh this is so special!!……I keep reminding myself that the training went well, no injuries, the weather forecast is even perfect…. good people backing me up…… but if I could just find that tiny grain of whatever that sets it all in motion….

I ‘m gonna order some room-service and see if that helps….

It’s really hard for me to imagine, but….. this time next week I’ll have just finished a round of golf with my boss and a client. We’ll be out for supper….. total real world mundane crud … my golf swing [I used to do this] might just have lack a little flexibility but I know I’ll sound sick if I try to explain exactly why. The 2007 VT100 will be behind me…. seems strange…. the internal build up seems so crucial to me, but all the folk around me they’ll never notice…. but this would be the norm I guess …. ultra-running being such a microscopic sub-sub-culture in the running(real) world

and then again this is all in my head……but….. when we all get to that big changing room in the sky maybe I’ll have something interesting to talk about….. but then again maybe not.